One of the best things about having sex with a new partner while dating is finding out all about their sexual kinks. The prim executive secretary in the office might like dressing up as nurse naughty. The well build, sexy hunk who started last week might want you to dominate him. Preferably in leathers and with a whip. You just never know.
That’s why it’s always so fun going to a sex shop with your new partner and buying some sex toys for your private times. Maybe have a few drinks at a pub near the sex shop first, that way you’re both a little drunk, and your normal inhibitions will be dropped. You won’t feel so shy about proposing some nipple clamps and blindfolds, and your partner will feel more at ease with putting a giant fist-sized dildo in the shopping cart. In vino veritas.
With the constantly rising cost of living and the bad economy, purchases at a sex shop can get expensive. On top of this, it is absolutely impossible to return anything used (for obvious reasons).
Well, have no fear – I have compiled some excellent replacements that will fulfill your sex toy needs at next to no cost. Have fun, but first, please check with your physician before trying these out.
Sex In The Office (Or Anywhere For That Matter)
For those not getting enough action there is a simple solution. Set your phone to vibrate and put it down the front of your shorts or panties. Now call it from another phone. This is phone sex taken to an entirely new level! Turn off your voice mail to maximize your pleasure! If you employ another cell phone, you can call yourself during boring meetings, or other venues. Suddenly, pocket dialing is no longer a problem to be dealt with, but a surprise to be welcomed!
Pure Pleasing Pleasure From Produce
Instead of spending a fortune on a dildo, find an inexpensive alternative. Go to the produce section of your local supermarket and pick an appropriate dildo substitute for pennies on the dollar. Just think, you can be standing beside your minister in the store, talking about last weeks sermon, and be selecting your next sex instrument right under his eyes. No more embarrassed skulking out of the sex shop anymore. What a plus! Bring it home, wash it really well, and slide a condom on it. Use a bit of KY jelly on it and have at it! The best options are:
1) Cucumber – recommended for average sized vaginas – take the nubs off first though
2) Carrot – ideal for smaller ladies with tight pussies
3) Zucchini – if you enjoy activities like fisting, you would likely have to turn to the stalwart zucchini to give you pleasure.
4) Baking Potato – be careful you do not lose it up there – the zucchini is likely more practical
5) Sweet potato – these can have some interesting twists for your pleasure – select carefully for maximum entertainment.
6) Celery – no matter which end you use, this one will likely be disappointing. Of course now a full bunch might just substitute well if you cannot find an appropriately sized zucchini!
7) Watermelon – Are you insane? Maybe if you had an elephant that you had to get off!
Once you have an item that works well, then it is safe to go to the adult store and buy a dildo of equal dimensions and perhaps contours. The nice part about veggie sex or veggie masturbation is that if it ends up that the veggie is the wrong size, you’ve only spent a couple of bucks to learn that.
Now you may get some interesting ideas as you browse by the deli department. Anything in the deli is just not recommended, no matter how natural it may look or feel.
How To Give Your Woman A More Intense Orgasm – On A Budget
A great many women cannot achieve an orgasm during sex unless it is accompanied by clitoral stimulation. That is why some devices worn by men (commonly called cock rings) have vibrators built into them. The give the guy a buzz, but the real benefit is to the woman who gets a clitoral buzz with every thrust. However, vibrators are not the only things that vibrate. Try having sex on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle.
For other fun, Have her hold her phone next to her clit and give her a bunch of hot, dirty crank calls, and set to “vibrate”. Depending on her phone plan, this can be very inexpensive and hot. Put a condom over the phone to keep it dry!
If you live in California, sex during an earthquake might actually help you to look forward to those nuisances. Add some zest on your next train ride with some sexcapades. Most trains have some interesting vibrations, rocking and rolling when in motion. When all else fails, pull out the trusty cell phone again Roller coasters are a thought, but the complexity of pulling it off pretty much makes it a non-starter. Planes are only fun during a rough air, but then they turn on those pesky seat belt signs and spoil all the fun. Then of course, sex in the bed of a pickup truck while going over a washboard road is just about the best. This takes at least one helper, or another couple so you can take turns in the bed of the truck. Of course when going for it in the truck bed, some sort of padding is a necessity. Use and air mattress or at least a couple of yoga pads. Now go have some fun out there!
If you want some other advice on sex and sexuality, check out these links:
Sex Advice for Men
Sex Advice for Women